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Meerness
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Name: TamTam
Gender: Male
Interests: Sciences, math, reading, programming, 3D modeling. How much nerdier can you get? XD
Expertise: That would be math, I suppose.
Occupation: Food
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/22/2006
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| One of the unusual things about me is, I think, that I frequently daydream about dying. And I don't mean having my life ended, I mean like dying of cancer. You know, the process of dying. I like to imagine myself in that situation because then people would listen to me - for whatever reason, people have a tendancy to take to heart anything said to them by a dying person. And that's something I always want - to be listened to, understood, and thought about.
I find it hard to open up to people. Thanks to that, I infrequently have the chance to talk about myself, and to be listened to, understood, and thought about. Every so often I do get that chance, and I pounce on it. But frequently I just keep my stories to myself, wondering sadly when I'll be able to tell them to someone.
Well, that's what this blog has been. As soon as Becca told me I should start one, I immediately had reason to - because she would read it. She gave me an opening, and indeed she listened, understood, and thought. It was all I could ask for. The fact that a bunch of other people stopped by is really just an added bonus.
Thank you, Becca. I hope someone gives you what you gave me - a dream.
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| Okay, I'm finished. Pretty close to the two year mark, too. Likely I'll think of something later that I should have said, but that doesn't matter.
The next and final post was written over a year ago. I didn't change a word. I'll probably be taking the blog down as soon as I find a way to save it. Goodbye!
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| When faced with moral decisions, there are two ways you can choose right - passively and actively. Let's say we're talking about killing, which is quite clearly wrong. So, you can passively not kill anyone, or you can actively stop other people from killing. Obviously, if the entire world always chose right but did so passively, we'd be living in a near-perfect world. However, in the real world where people are frequently choosing wrong, some of us need to be active or else nothing will change. If this world is going to get fixed, we need to fix it, not just be good ourselves.
I'm speaking as a person who's been very passive his whole life. I feel like I can choose right a lot of the time, but I'm never active about it. I know I should be, but I'm not. Maybe it's time to try! I have no idea how, though. Maybe a way will present itself! Ah, who knows.
Point is, we need to remember that doing good by ourselves just isn't good enough! We need to bring good to other people! | | |
| What was once a method of communication is that no longer. I've grown past my need for it. I'm happy about that.
Now it's just here. Say hello! It says hi back. As a whole, it feels sort of fruitless. I can use it as a mirror to look back at myself, and I see a person far less organized than I would expect, a meandering individual with idealism that never gets put into action. I can use it as a magnifying glass, and read into my friendships through it, and I'm largely happy with what I see. I can use it as a basis for comparison of my writing and my stability, which tells me I've improved. I can use it as a painting of myself, and in it I see that I'm just like everyone else. And that's not a bad thing.
But these are all products of what was, not of what is. What is is empty.
The communication does not die here, but I think it's time to lay this bit of it down to sleep. Good night!
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| Often, I'll spend a great deal of time thinking about something, trying to choose one way or the other. Life's full of dilemmas. And when I have lots of trouble deciding, I tell myself that no matter which choice I end up choosing - that was the right choice. If I spent that much time thinking about it, then I made the right choice.
Nothing logical here. Just a way to ease decision-making for myself.
So whatever I do at this juncture is the right thing to do! If I've been wondering what to do for this long, anything will do. | | |
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